How many times you tell lies in a day?Why have to lie?

an_joy06 · Joined: 05 Oct 2006 Posts: 9 Location: philippines

I have my friend which is a single mother. She always teach her kid not to tell lies. Every time her kid ask, she tells the truth.. but have this one question that my friend cannot answer.The kid is always asking about her father. Instead of telling the truth, she lie on her kid. I know that my friend have her reasons why not telling the truth but why have to lie?

Natara · Joined: 18 Jun 2008 Posts: 17

I guess the poor kid just ain't ready to know Sad

beatrice · Joined: 29 Jun 2008 Posts: 8

We all know there are things better left unsaid.. Especially when it comes to a young child. He has not the capacity to overcome certain painful truths at a young age. But, knowing your friend, don't you think she will eventually tell her child the truth about his father?

What would you do if you were her? Would you lie? Or would you tell the truth? Think of the consequences...

nata · Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 9

It is always best to tell your children the truth and teach them about having to be truthful at all times.
Unfortunately, sometimes, one has to tell a lie to your kids in order to protect them from the potential negative effects of the truth. Sometimes it might be just that the kid is not matured enough to be told the truth yet

kalu · Joined: 04 Jul 2008 Posts: 13

I think to lie sometime is not bad. But i do have very bad experience of lieing.I lied a person once , later on i told him the truth .But he gave me the title of a lier.

Tomira_Rosser · Joined: 04 Jul 2008 Posts: 5

Lying is a very touchy subject. Yes, although your friend does have reasons for lying to her child about the father, it is best to encourage her to tell the truth. Because telling the truth, although difficult at times, is the best solution to any problem. The child will eventually grow up and resent the fact that mother told lies about father... I speak from experience. The bitterness will be deeply entrenched by the time the child grows up. So it is a good idea to encourage her to do some "damage control" and start telling the child the truth about Daddy.

TheFirstCitizen · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

I like to find my own little lies and bust em out at seemingly random times - throw em right out on the table. Especially when I feel something is starting to get that dense smelly stigma around it, air that out right away.

I find in it refreshing and fun freedom!

I say
"O by the way dad you had a grandson, I gave him up for adoption."

or

"Damn honey, don't you think that little brown girl is yummy?"

Living with strange lie like feelings hanging over you makes you sick. Distasteful outbursts are much cheaper than western medicine.

Seraph · Joined: 28 Jul 2008 Posts: 6

Telling children the truth requires awareness and creativity. Young children can't understand the truth as adults understand it, especially if it's complicated. But children are smart. They know the truth from a lie - instinctively.

It sounds like your friend is trying to protect her child. Maybe she hasn't come to terms with the truth yet herself. Either way, she needs to find an age appropriate way to tell the truth now. Maybe a symbolic story that explains the situation.

In my experience, it's best to tell children the truth from the start. Give them the opportunity to work through what it means to them. With love and support, they are quite capable of coming to terms with life.

Sachy · Joined: 26 Oct 2008 Posts: 21

lieing is bad i accept,but not all time.Sometime we are in situation that we cant tell truth,then at that time you dont have choice rather than telling lie.