Would you leave your mate for someone else if..

yvonnewilcox · Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Posts: 9

If you met someone that you think is more compatible with you than your current mate, would you leave and start a new relationship?

Well let us look at some facts surrounding this situation. Your current mate does not give you mental support. Your current mate does not talk about their issues with you, but they will talk to others on the phone regarding things that bother them.

You meet someone that shares your passion for whatever you like to do. They try to understand your nature of business or is willing to learn what you do in order to be the support you need. Your current mate could careless what you did as long as you bring money home.

Hmm what would you do? LOL

ttrollinger81@yahoo.com · Joined: 30 Jul 2008 Posts: 10

I actually am living this situation right now. My long time boyfriend and father to my children is the man your describing, lol. No I have not left and have not looked or even sent my mind reeling tin that direction. I guess right now my kids are more important to me than my own happiness. Does this sound bad or what? OMG I can't believe I actually said or I guess wrote this outloud. It kind of helps to put things in prospective for me.

Watchman · Joined: 31 Jul 2008 Posts: 5

Yvonnewilcox, it sounds like you are in this situation currently. I understand you feel your mate isn't paying attention to you, but have you tried to talk with him or her about the problem? They might be engrossed in other matters or simply not recognize that you need them. Again, it never hurts to ask or find out. Don't try to sound accusatory, just bring the issue to light. If you keep this sort of thing bottled up, it would only cause more stress and strain in your relationship. Nip the bud before it has a chance to turn truly sour. You might also find the new person you have met isn't everything you made him out to be. I can't tell you what to do though. If you feel that you will truly be happy staying with that new person, then perhaps you might want to give it a try.

And ttrollinger81, it's perfectly normal to want to vocalize (or in this case, type) out your feelings to get them off your back. Just be aware that the Internet isn't always the safest place to reveal personal details. And yes, it's also normal to place such great importance on your kids (don't coddle them too much though!) It's a maternal instinct and also why you hear stories of mothers putting themselves in harm's way to rescue their children.

Ciano · Joined: 21 Aug 2008 Posts: 1

God this is a hard one especially as there are children involved. For that very reason I would sit my partner down on his own and tell him I am having serious concerns about our relationship and perhaps encourage him to go to counselling. It would only be if all avenues were exhausted that I would leave.

Best of luck x

ThirdEye · Joined: 09 Sep 2008 Posts: 5

RELATIONship...the word itself means you have to relate to the other! If you can't seem to share your thoughts, or your mate can't do the same, there is no relating between the two of you. For me, this is enough to say it would be completely reasonable to call it quits and begin a new search for somebody different..and if there is already one that you have discovered, stop posting and pull the trigger!

ljastangs21 · Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 5

I think you should do whatever your heart desiers. If you spend too much time thinking about questions like these then your life will be hell.

purrfect1969 · Joined: 10 Oct 2008 Posts: 5

Life is short. You need to take your happiness where you can get it. Children also need to live in a happy home. They can tell if you aren't happy, no matter how hard you try. Plus, they need to know what real love is and what it looks like.

First, I would try to talk to my current mate. I would tell him I am not happy. Things needed to change. He had to talk to me. He had to tell me what he was thinking. Chances are he isn't happy either.

If he continued to refuse to talk, I would tell him enough was enough. Either we talk and we work on this relationship or I was leaving.

Again, life is short.